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Part of my training as a
supervisor for the State of Connecticut was how to evaluate staff performance.
As newly minted supervisors, the management trainers drummed into our
heads that every member of our work force deserved the respect of an annual
performance appraisal. If done correctly, we were told, the annual performance
appraisal provided the opportunity for the employee and supervisor to have a
conversation in which the employee is provided objective feedback, the
employee’s professional goals for the coming year could be identified, and a
course of training could be mapped out towards the attainment of his or her
goals. Overall, we were told,
performance appraisals when approached with a positive attitude would be stress
free, and a constructive experience for the employee and supervisor
relationship. Funny thing, as
I sat there listening to the trainers, I could not ever remember performance
appraisals being stress free. Constructive
yes, but never stress free. I
dreaded performance meetings with my supervisor, because I was no dummy, I knew
my strengths and weaknesses would once again be placed before me in black and
white.
However, a few years into my
tenure as a supervisor, my department introduced what they thought was a new
approach to performance appraisals, this time, we were requested to give
appraisal forms to the employees and ask them to write their own evaluations
then their thoughts would be compared with ours.
I rather liked this approach, and assumed most of the employees would
relish the opportunity to write their own appraisal. However, when the time came
for the employees to hand in their forms, I was surprised by the results. Some
handed in blank forms, not willing to enter into the process.
Others put little thought into the process and quickly checked off the
outstanding box for each category. When
both groups were asked why they did not take the exercise seriously, their
answers were fairly consistent, they did not see any constructive purpose to the
exercise. The remaining one or two percent who made the effort to self-evaluate
commented the task was difficult but worth it in the end.
Many of us approach the season of Lent in the same manner my
work unity approached work appraisals, its necessary but we have little
appreciation of Lent as a constructive part of our spiritual lives.
This I find especially true among our young people who, when asked what
Lent is about, will often reply, it is the season when we give something up.
Beyond this, they don’t have the foggiest notion as to why.
Like regular performance appraisals, we need the season of Lent to be a
regular part of our lives. Lent is
the time period in the church year when we are called into spiritual
self-examination and are asked to evaluate our relationship with God.
We are called to ask such questions as how to have we grown spiritually,
deepened our prayer lives. What do
we enjoy about our relationship with God and the Church, and how do we want to
grow in our spiritual journeys in the months ahead?
The question we are faced with today is how do we go about it in an
organized and constructive fashion.
In a few minutes we will participate in the Litany of Penitence.
This is a thorough confession of sin and a good starting point for
spiritual examination. It calls us
to pay attention to all that God asks us to be as God’s children.
It calls us to reflect on our level of concern for the environment, each
other and our individual prayer lives. If you turn to page 267,you can see the
litany is broken up into a series of petition.
What one can do is concentrate on one petition at a time and ask
yourself, how do I fulfill this petition and then how can I make the needed
changes. Some find it is best to write out your responses and then at
the end look for common themes. But this is only a starting point.
Martin Smith, in his book Reconciliation, tells us that our
relationship with God is all encompassing.
Our relationship with God, if maintained at its proper level, is a fully
integrated part of our being. All
areas of our lives are influenced by and provide indication of the healthfulness
of this primary relationship. Thus
Father Smith provides a series of tools for self-examination that expands on the
Ash Wednesday Litany, and then he adds a final section concerning our treatment
of ourselves. Mistreatment of
ourselves is also a sin against God and therefore need to seek balance in our
lives. Therefore we need to seek
more expanded tools of examination as well.
Tools that ask us not only to only examine ourselves in the areas covered
by today’s litany, but also how we treat ourselves as part of God’s
creation. Questions we raise need
to include the following; do we accept our bodies and beings as part of God’s
creation and able to thank God for that?
How do allow others to use and mistreat us? Do we take ownership of
our talents, or do we hide them under a bushel.
Do we respect our physical and emotional limitations?
These are the hard questions for us to face, and are important of any
spiritual examination, because how we care for ourselves is an indicator of our
ability to allow God to care for us. I have to be honest, I enjoy the process of spiritual
self-examination as much as I enjoy the process of work evaluations or for that
matter any evaluation. Having just
spent some of my retreat time last week engaged in self-examination, I can
attest to the fact that the process is difficult. Difficult because as we enter into the process we are called
to face our demons, accept where we have failed God, our families, friends and
ourselves. It is difficult because
it calls us to be accountable for our lives, to accept that we are sinful even
though we live in a sin denying society in which very few are willing to accept
accountability for their lives or actions. However something that is challenging is usually growth
producing. In sports training, the
oft-touted mantra is, “no pain, no gain.”
The same is true for spiritual growth.
Because unless we are willing to enter into the dark caverns of our
being, and explore those areas we fear most about ourselves continued spiritual
growth will elude us.
Therefore, despites its difficulty, I beg you, do not shy away from the
opportunity this season of Lent offers as a time of spiritual self-examination.
Because if we put the effort into the process, we will find that despite
the discomfort, confusion and difficulty, the will lead to new incite into God,
new understanding as to why Christ died for us, and most of all a deeper
appreciation of God’s love for us. Amen
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