The Church of the Redeemer

10 Pentecost

July 28, 2002

The Rev. Craig R. Swan 

My father often quips that throughout his high school and college years he was amazed at how little his parents knew and often wondered how they managed to survive day to day.  Once he entered his twenties and had children of his own, he was amazed how wise they suddenly became as he sought their advice to assist him and my mother in raising their four children.  My father’s story is perhaps universal, we all can remember the days of our adolescents, when our worldview was egocentric, and our base of understanding was gained from our equally limited peer group.  Each of us has experienced that period of innocence when we thought we knew everything, were convinced that we could control our own world, believed our energies and abilities were limitless, and thought we needed no ones help but our own.  Hopefully, as I discuss this time of innocence and excitement that young adulthood brought each of us we are beginning to reconnect with that lost sense of certainty that has been replaced with our advancing years of lost innocence and developing wisdom. And, if we can tap into our own naïveté as young adults, we can begin to understand the personality of the greatest and most influential theologian in Christian history.

            Saul of Tarsus was young, headstrong and a brilliant individual.  As a youth, he grew up in a world of privilege as a member of a well to do and influential Jewish family. Saul enjoyed the rare advantage among the Jews of being a Roman Citizen.  Saul was also exceptionally well educated for his day.  He studied at the feet of one of the great Rabbis of his day and was well versed in matters of Torah or Jewish law.  And, of even greater note, Saul was able to read and write in Greek and was as well versed in Hellenistic philosophy.  And Saul, like most young adults, filled with academic knowledge, was convinced that when it came to most subjects he knew it all and was passionate about what he felt was right and wrong.  It is no wonder then that Saul offered himself to the religious establishment of his time to assist with the destroying of that movement known as the Way, today called Christianity.  That movement of poorly educated, yet persistent individuals was becoming a threat to the balance of the Jewish/ Roman relationship. And there was no doubt in his mind that he was doing right by God when he threw the fatal stones at St. Stephen.  And that is how the life of Saul would have continued with all his stubborn self-righteousness until that fateful day on the road to Damascus when God struck him down, temporarily blinded him and then undeniably revealed to him the light of Christ.  Through this experience, the man who was Saul of Tarsus was dramatically converted, with all his passion and knowledge into the person we now refer to as St. Paul. 

            What is most striking about St. Paul’s transformation was his growth from innocence to wisdom as he, perhaps for the first time took to heart the words of Isaiah that tell us that God’s ways are not our ways and it is not for us to tell God what to do, but to silently wait upon the word of the lord. To the Church at Rome St. Paul demonstrated his new wisdom and humility when he wrote; “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words.”  And to the Church at Corinth when he stated that our understanding of God is but that of an image in a mirror dimly lit.

            The lesson Paul learned through his conversion is the lesson we all must learn, that God’s ways are so mysterious and so beyond our simple comprehension that we need the guidance and the help of the Holy Spirit even to know what to pray.  In all honesty, this is perhaps the most difficult lesson of faith, because frankly we like to be in control, or at least think we are. To admit as Paul does that we are so weak that we need the help of the Spirit to pray is to admit that we need to allow God to be the pilot and not the co-pilot in our lives.  It is a struggle to put our lives completely in God’s hands.  We struggle because it means allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.  We struggle because it means that we must admit that we are weak and need God’s help in our lives.  We struggle because it means that we are like many who are addicted to substances, who accept that they have a problem, but are unwilling to allow others to help them in a way that is best for them, because to allow God to direct our lives means following God’s lead for us and not our own.

            Our prayer lives often reflect this part of our reality as we constantly pray in specific, telling God exactly how and where we want God to intercede in our lives.  Each of us is good at remembering to ask God to “give us our daily bread”, but we often fail to acknowledge, “thy will be done”.  It is the simple prayer of “thy will be done” that is alluded to in Psalm 119.  “Your decrees are wonderful; therefore I obey them with all my heart.  When your word goes forth it gives light; it gives understanding to the simple. I open my mouth and pant; I long for your commandments.  Turn to me in mercy, as you always do to those who love your Name.” 

            Paul came to understand the words of this psalm and learned to live with his constant prayer being “thy will be done”.  In his letters to the early churches, he continues to testify to the joy and hope he found in his giving up control and accepting God’s will for his life.  Even when facing his execution, Paul declared his confidence and joy in God’s love. To Timothy he wrote, “As for me, I am already being poured out as a libation, and the time of my departure has come. . . . . From now on there is reserved for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”

            It is very rare that we find others who are as confident and as willing to accept and follow the will of God as St. Paul.  However, while our young people were in Puerto Rico last month we were fortunate to meet one as spiritual and as trusting as Paul.  Her name is Dona Juana.  Like St. Paul, Dona Juana understood that her life was completely dependant upon the will of God, and in her prayers she acknowledged her trust in God’s will by never telling God specifically how to intercede on behalf of her or her church.  Instead she, trusted that God in his greatness would answer her prayer in a way that was beyond what she could have asked or imagined. On the Sunday we attended mass at San Juan Apostol it was Dona Juana’s eightieth birthday.  At this Church it was the tradition to celebrate birthdays in grand style with prayer and ceremony for the birthday person. So on this warm Sunday morning, as the congregation prepared to lay their hands on her to pray, Dona Juana announced that her prayers had been answered.  She explained to our group and her parish family how since Hurricane George, she had been asking and silently waiting upon God for a miracle that would bring renewal to her struggling community.  She never asked God for money, or a new building, but simply a miracle.  She continued by telling us that this morning, the day of her eightieth birthday, when she walked into her church and found the walls and chairs repainted, she realized that God had answered her prayer through the work of our young people.  For Dona Juana, the work our young people provided was far greater than freshly painted walls, it was a sign from God that they are not forgotten and God is truly present in their community.  In a recent email from the Vicar, I learned that the work our young people started has indeed sparked a sense of renewal in the community.  Members have been inspired to come forward to complete the painting of the building’s interior and to complete the work started on an outdoor classroom. And, there is also a greater sense of hope.

            St. Paul and Dona Juana are two unique individuals who accepted their weakness and humility in relation to the greatness of God in their lives and have learned that prayer is not about asking God to intercede as we desire, but a request to be open to the guidance of the Holy Spirit in discovering the will of God in their lives and the lives of their communities.  This is the call of God to each and every one of us and to this community.

Let us pray:

Almighty God the fountain of all wisdom, you know our necessities before we ask and our ignorance in asking; Have compassion on our weakness, and mercifully give us those things which for our unworthiness we dare not, and for our blindness we cannot ask; through the worthiness of your Son Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with your and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen   

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